I lived in Tampa for 5 months in 2008 for work. The Tampa bar scene is absolutely awful to begin with...rampant with tramp stamps and barbed wire tattoos and horrendously overprocessed blonde hair. Needless to say, living and dating there for 5 months was pretty rough regardless.
However, one night I was out with friends, and a super cute guy approached me while I was at the bar getting drinks. He was maybe 6 feet, big brown eyes, dark skin. Instead of throwing some cheesy line, he just straight up introduced himself, asked what I was drinking and bought my next drink for me. We talked for about 10-15 minutes before I left him to rejoin my friends. He asked for my number and I gave it to him.
A few days later, he called and asked to take me to dinner. I said sure and I was actually excited for this one. He was direct without being overly aggressive, he was cute, and he seemed well spoken. Ok, maybe Tampa had some hope after all...
He came over to pick me up for the date, knocks at my apartment, and leads me to his yellow ferrari convertible. It was the most obnoxious car I had ever been in, but at least it ran! What makes it more obnoxious is that when we start talking about work, it becomes clear that he (1) doesn't work and (2) daddy bought the car. Ugh...Major strikes. Anyway, we proceed to have a pretty nice date...especially given my significantly lower Tampa-specific expectations. He takes me to a very nice restaurant, pays and we have a good conversation.
We don't seem to have a ton in common, but he was nice enough that I would have no problem seeing him again. He obviously felt the same way as he called a few days later to hang out again.
This time, I drive to his place in Clearwater and we decide to walk to a nearby restaurant. When I get to his house, he promptly tells me that its one of his dad's houses that he and some friends live in. I meet the friends/roommates, who all seem nice enough for brief introductions.
However, after talking to these 4 guys (3 roommates and my date) for a few minutes, I find out that (1) none of them went to college and (2) they're all from random ass places (LA, Kansas, Canada). It didn't seem to make sense...how did all of these guys, who don't work and didn't go to college, end up living together in Florida? As we're walking to the restaurant, I ask my date just that. He responded, quite plainly,
"We're all Scientologists."
I laugh, assuming he's joking, so I ask "no really, how do you guys know each other?". "We are all scientologists"
The next 2 hours proceed to be the most awkward and uncomfortable 2 hours of my life.
Turns out, that Clearwater, Fl is a huge epicenter for Scientology. (Oh great.) His father, a very wealthy man although I don't remember how or why, converted to scientology in the 90s. And, since scientology has a component where the more money you give to the church (coughCULTcough), the higher you are in religious (coughCULTcough) standings, his father and family are evidentally very well known in the scientology community...Oh holy crap.
He then unloaded to me that he doesn't believe in psychology or psychiatry. He doesn't believe in prescribing drugs to people with mental illnesses.
He believed that the holocaust as well as landing on the moon never really happened ...
It was all set up by the media or other interested parties. What the fuck!?! He believed that 9/11 was completely the doing of the American government...a giant conspiracy theory. I just kept thinking to myself....ARE YOU FOR REAL? Get me the HELL out of here! I gently argue most of his points throughout the evening, but am generally pretty quiet because I want the meal to be over as quickly as possible. We walk back to my car in silence. We say good night. Needless to say, I never saw or spoke to him again...
So much for hope in Tampa.
Other than Tom Cruise and select other ridiculous celebrities, being a Scientologist will NOT get you laid or a girlfriend or much of anything else for this matter, other than maybe some mental counseling...
Being from the "church of scientology" + not going to college + being completely ridiculous = this is why you are single
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