Last night I had yet another "special" encounter with a guy from Match.com
Let's call him "Camera Clark"
Well, let's start from the beginning. There was of course a series of emails that lead up to our "date" where he sounded somewhat interesting, pretty nice and funny. He looked cute, kind of hipster, but not the super crazy tight pants wearing kind that will run you over on their bike. This is already a step in the right direction from the last round of freaks I went out with (see previous posts - Tats/Cats and NJ Nick)
Below is an excerpt from a message he sent me...
Ok so he is a bit sarcastic which is good, but also a little intense. Well, we found a place close to my work and we met for drinks. The hello is a bit awkward, but we make our way into the bar and find a place in the back to sit and talk. He is pretty much the way he described himself, which is shocking. The conversation is ok, but I'm enjoying it a bit more because I'm downing my wine and so is he. (Another step in the right direction, this guy isn't a recovering alcoholic! Yay!) However, the conversation shifts and things start to go down a weird road filled with little gems of info about his awkward life.
Tidbits and facts I learn while we talk....
-He lives in DUMBO with a dog and has a car! (YAY!)....
-His parents pay for him to live in DUMBO with his dog and pay for his car...BOO
-He used a wheelchair 2 times while he was recovering from knee surgery and would go off-roading in it, run people over and thought being in a wheelchair was "A Blast" ....(making fun of people in wheelchairs DOES NOT get you laid and is generally frowned upon)
-He likened himself to a man in a nursing home, because he had 5 surgeries on his knee and can't do anything sports related or anything that involves twisting his leg...(nothing is sexier than a guy who has the stamina of a 60 year old)
-He totally "understands" why people freak out when they work for a big corporation...he legit said to me, "I can totally sympathize for those people who go to work and shoot at a bunch of people...haven't we all wanted to do that?" (This is when I looked around for my exit strategy only to discover I was boxed in, so I responded with a simple nod and nervous laugh...it is important not to piss off the freaks)
-You asked me to pay for half of the drinks...I'm a feminist, but come on ...if this is what is to come, count me out.
Basically you are a old loose cannon who might shoot at me on our date, then ask me to pay to clean it up...yikes. This is why you are single.
No comments:
Post a Comment