G-Strings, Gay Clubs and Lowered Expectations...

So it recently came to my attention, why I myself may be single (just one of the reasons I'm sure...).  Friday night was Fashion's Night Out...aka fashion block party featuring Trannys, Fierce Gays and all kinds of fashion obsessed magnificent people.  After my event was over in Soho, I went out with...who else?...my fierce gay friend Rob, a special events director of a major nyc mag named Ricky (also gay...duh they throw the best parties!) and his two gay friends.

We drank, we partied, we stuck $$$ in the male stripper's g-strings, normal things for me.  I've been to this particular bar more than a few times with my gay male friends.

However, in the midst of stuffing a $5 in the stripper's bright neon banana hammock, Ricky leaned over and asked..."So are you dating anyone?  Do you have a boyfriend?"

At that moment, I started to laugh uncontrollably... as I looked around and took note of the crowd.  I'm at a GAY bar, with my hands on a gay man's meaty thigh...Hmmmm maybe this is why i'm single?

A ridiculously obvious, but simple conclusion...hanging out at Gay bars isn't going to help a single girl meet any dateable men!  (Although I was told the dancers are often straight..umm no thanks!) Now I'm not saying that I won't keep going to gay bars, watching the men show off their downstair's mixup or going out to the gayest places ever, BUT note to self...you won't meet anyone dateable this way UNLESS YOU ARE A GAY MAN.

"Lowered Expectations"

This is one of the recent gems that sent me a message...let's take a look.

I understand that we all would like to meet someone great and fun/outgoing/nice/good looking/...whatever it is you are looking for, BUT sometimes you have to get REAL.  Below is the description of what he is looking for in a woman.  

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

Exhibit C

Exhibit D (an actual picture from his profile)

This is all i'm saying...if you are going to be that particular about who you are into and who you will go out with...you should try to be less of a freak.  You have a picture with a parrot on your shoulder, and not the cool I'm on a beach vacation my mom/significant other made me do this with the tropical parrot... this is the weird, I'm into birds kind of bird.  I'm just saying, you have a freaky bird, really high standards and you are pocket size (he is 5'5")...lower your expectations because this is why you are single.