This is why you are Single: Case Study 1 and "Freak of the Week”

I’m not saying you won’t find love or a committed relationship on any one of these dating sites (success stories to come), but I’m starting to think this dating website is more like a minefield than a needle in a haystack. 

You are much more likely to get bombarded by freaks (see my picture analogy below) than get a great thoughtful email from a genuinely nice (aka cute) guy.

This week I had my first date via online dating.  Let’s call him “Steve”

“Steve’s” Stats:

Ok...Maybe I should have known from his tag line, but I can tell you one thing about online dating…people lie.  “Steve” was definitely not 5’11” , nor was he into working out or most of the things he mentioned.  He was however, weird. 

We met at a wine bar in gramercy for “drinks”.  “Drinks” is in quotes because he doesn’t drink as you can see from his stats.  I thought this was a clever ploy for him not to attract booze hounds or alcoholics, I stand corrected. 

I proceeded to order my giant glass of wine (I needed it) and hear him order a seltzer water.  Umm hello?  Ok this isn’t a I don't feel like drinking, I don’t like the taste, I was hung over the other day not drinking drink.  Seltzer water is usually a drink with hidden connotation (see alcoholic or just weird person).  As I probed a bit into why he didn’t drink, he said “I used to be a wild man, totally nuts when I would drink”.  

Is it wrong that I would have rather hung out with the drunk version of himself?  He sounds like way more fun…

As the date progressed I found out other random tidbits…

-He described his family as “A Cat Family” (file under things that don’t get you laid)

-He has a bunch of tattoos , not the hot kind, the weird I may have been too drunk kind and they are like a bracelet on his leg (please reference his recovering alcoholic status-harsh, but I meant it)

-His outfit did not say first date, it said…”Shit! I haven’t done laundry in a month" 

-His profile said “works out 3-4 times a week” but then he said he lost 40lbs just by walking to work in the past month…yikes    

I can't even remember all the weird analogies he made, or awkward shit that happened, but my friend said it best…”Weird Tats and Too Many Cats” 

No thanks…This is why you are single

Freak of the Week Spotlight 

"Divorced Freak"

Stats:

The answer is simple...HELL NO!

Profile picture with his kid...wtf?

In His About me Section...Wow..Sign me up for a divorcee with a crazy ex

An Email I Received

All is can say here is ...YIKES.  Does anything in my profile scream "I WOULD LOVE TO DATE A DIVORCED GUY WITH A KID?" No..I read my profile again and it screams not dealing with anyone who has children. 

I think we may have another "Copy and Paste Lover" on our hands as he did not even express interest in me or my profile. 

You have a 4 year old child, a crazy ex-wife and have already done the marriage thing...go raise your kid and get off match.com!  This is why you are single..again.